Then and Now
by GEM8
Summary: Olivia has made decisions in her life. Some she is proud of, others she is not. Fitzgerald Grant has made decisions in his life. Some he is proud of, others he is not. Every decision comes with consequences. Olivia/Other Olivia/Fitz
1. Chapter 1

Title: _Then and Now_

Author: GEM

Date: 11-12-12

Pairing: Olivia/Fitz

Rating: T

Summary: Olivia had made decisions in her life. Some she is proud of, others she is not. Fitzgerald Grant had made decisions in his life. Some he is proud of, others he is not. Every decision comes with consequences. Olivia/Other Olivia/Fitz

A/N: This is my first Scandal Fan Fiction. Your comments are greatly appreciated.

Disclaimer: Scandal is Property of Shonda Rimes and ABC et al. The song Jar of Hearts

is Property of LAWRENCE, DREW C. / PERRI, CHRISTINA JUDITH / YERETSIAN, BARRETT NOUBAR. No copyright infringement is intended

Chapter 1 The Senator

_2006_

Olivia sat on the couch nursing her second glass of wine. She couldn't take this any longer. It had been four years...four years of broken promises. _There with always be time for you Liv. I just need this time to be great. My country needs me and I need you to support me. You can have your career and us too. _Olivia looked down at her ring finger after downing her glass of wine. The ring was beautiful there was no doubt about that. The Proposal was Perfect but it wasn't enough anymore.

_2003 New York_

_Edison Davis was never sure of anything in his life as he waited on the observation deck of the Empire State Building. He met Olivia a year ago at a campaign event and that is when his life began. He couldn't stand to live another day without her in his life. _

_"Good Evening, Senator." Olivia said as she stepped off the elevator at the top of the Empire State Building._

_She was a vision in a black satin dress, her smile was a bright as the stars in the night sky. "Good evening, Miss Pope. I see Cyrus delivered my message. Thank you for joining me." Edison offered her any arm as they walked to the look out. "It's a beautiful night. Don't you think? Almost as beautiful as you._

_"Cyrus did indeed give me the message. I was stuck in depositions all day. Edison...Why are we here? I'm starving and you promised me dinner before your flight back to Washington."_

_Edison smiled. "I did, didn't I. Well, we'll get to that in a moment." Edison reached into his pocket. "First." He got down on one knee and open the small box in his hand. _

_"Olivia covered his mouth with her hand in shock. When Cyrus had told her to meet Edison here she had no idea that this was going to happen._

_"Olivia Pope Will you Marry me?"_

_"Yes." Olivia whispered as Edison pulled the ring from the box and slipped onto her finger._

Olivia thought that night in New York would led her to happiness but it didn't. Sure they were happy for a while but as time passed. Edison became more entrenched in Politics and his image. As a fixer Olivia understood why it was important but Edison was becoming controlling at least when that were in public together. Olivia had pride in her work, faith in herself, but Edison Davis had a way of making even the strong willed Olivia Pope second guess herself and her actions. Now almost four years later. Olivia was certain if she stayed she would lose herself for good.

**I know I can't take one more step towards you  
Cause all that's waiting is regret  
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore  
You lost the love I loved the most**

I learned to live half alive  
And now you want me one more time

Olivia put down her newly empty wine glass and picked up the phone. "Cyrus." Olivia tried her best to hold back her tears...her body ached but she knew what she had to do. "Is that spot at the firm still open."

"It's yours if you want it. Are you okay Olivia?"

"No, but I will be...call them and tell them I'll be there next week."

"Olivia, you know you can always talk to me right?"

"I know, I'll see you in the office next week."

"You can't go. I won't let you!"

" It's too late I took the job and I'm going!" Olivia screamed as Edison came toward her.

"You're mine Olivia you can't just leave me, switch parties, go and would for some big city corporate, Republican Lawyer! You belong to me Olivia Pope!"

"I belong to no one and I am apolitical...Edison you should know that by now." Olivia picked up what was left of her belonging and walked out the door, slamming it behind her and leaving Edison to Rage all by himself.

**And who do you think you are  
Running 'round leaving scars  
Collecting your jar of hearts  
And tearing love apart  
You're gonna catch a cold  
From the ice inside your soul  
So don't come back for me  
Who do you think you are?**


	2. Chapter 2

Title: _ Then and Now_

Author: GEM

Date: 11-12-12

Pairing: Olivia/Fitz

Rating: T

Summary: Olivia had made decisions in her life. Some she is proud of, others she is not. Fitzgerald Grant had made decisions in his life. Some he is proud of, others he is not. Every decision comes with consequences. Olivia/Other Olivia/Fitz

A/N: This is my first Scandal Fan Fiction. Your comments are greatly appreciated. Thank you to those of you who have reviewed. I enjoy reading the reviews, so keep them coming. Please don't be shy.

Disclaimer: Scandal is Property of Shonda Rimes and ABC et al. The song Jar of Hearts

is Property of LAWRENCE, DREW C. / PERRI, CHRISTINA JUDITH / YERETSIAN, BARRETT NOUBAR. No copyright infringement is intended

Chapter 2 The Campaign Manager

**I hear you're asking all around  
If I am anywhere to be found  
But I have grown too strong  
To ever fall back in your arms**

It was amazing really Olivia had be back in Washington D.C. for the past six months. She was settled and practicing law. Edison had been asking around. The first few months of the new job were difficult Edison started harassing her with phone calls and emails a few weeks ago. The only good thing was he hadn't come to find her yet That was until she made a few calls and called in some favors. Cyrus, of course was very helpful. He had liked Edison when Olivia first started dating him, but that didn't last very long.

Cyrus didn't appreciate Edison taking Olivia away to New York so he could have a piece of arm candy while running for Re-election. His distaste for him continued when he learned that He was telling Olivia where to work, what to wear and what cases to take and what to say in public It became especially bad when he was running re-election to the Senate.

Olivia called Cyrus when things started to get rough, She called her friends too. Huck spent a couple of day toward the end of her relationship with Edison '_making his life a living hell._' She didn't exactly know what Huck meant by that, but she knew that no physical harm came to him. Truthful, Olivia wasn't sure how she felt about that after the last four years.

"Hey there kid how the case going." Cyrus leaned against the office door frame and waited for Olivia to look up.

"Good, I think we have it all settled I'm just waiting to hear from Judge Reynolds to see what time we can present the case."

"That's great news, Liv. Cyrus walked into the office and sat down in the chair in front of her desk. "You look tired Liv, Do you need? Do you want to talk about it?"

"Thank you, Cyrus. I'm fine...really."

"Okay you know where I am if you need me."

Over the next three years Olivia Pope built her reputation in Washington as a "fixer." Yes, she worked as part of a law firm and no she wasn't the only fixer in town; she was the only worth it in town. She eat, slept and breathed her clients problems but she was getting burnt out. She had her "team" but she was tired of playing on a team. She need to get out on her own.

It was Presidential Primary Season, also known as silly season. Cyrus had left the firm five months ago to run a Primary campaign for Governor Fitzgerald Grant. Cyrus eats, breathes, and lives politics. He was a damn good lawyer but politics...politics is his life.

The Grant Campaign was getting there asses handed to them. She would watch events, and new footage on TV at night and wonder what was going on with Cyrus. He was a great "sausage maker," but this wasn't working."

Olivia reached out for the ringing phone and muted her TV. "Hi, Hello, How are you?"

"We are getting are asses handed to us. I need help up here in New Hampshire. Are you game?"

"Cyrus, I'm not sure I'm ready to re-enter the ring here. Edison..."

"Edison used you as an ornament in his campaign. I'll never be sure of this, but I would say he also used you as punching bag. "Cy, I don't want to talk about it."

"We don't have too. Come to New Hampshire Liv. You are not an ornament or a punching bag to me. You're a pistol and we need a pistol. I know you'll be able to help us out."

Olivia thought for a moment, truth be told; she was waiting for his call. Her letter requesting a leave was already printed up and signed. "What makes you so sure that I can help fix this?"

Cyrus stifled a laugh. That's easy, Liv. You're not afraid to say what needs to be said. Stop living for then Olivia...start living for now. Fitzgerald Grant is the really deal.


	3. Chapter 3

Title: _ Then and Now_

Author: GEM

Date: 11-12-12

Pairing: Olivia/Fitz

Rating: T

Summary: Olivia had made decisions in her life. Some she is proud of, others she is not. Fitzgerald Grant had made decisions in his life. Some he is proud of, others he is not. Every decision comes with consequences. Olivia/Other Olivia/Fitz

A/N: This is my first Scandal Fan Fiction. Your comments are greatly appreciated. Thank you to those of you who have reviewed. I enjoy reading the reviews, so keep them coming. Please don't be shy.

Disclaimer: Scandal is Property of Shonda Rimes and ABC et al. The song Jar of Hearts

is Property of LAWRENCE, DREW C. / PERRI, CHRISTINA JUDITH / YERETSIAN, BARRETT NOUBAR. No copyright infringement is intended

Chapter 3 The Fixer

"There is no way to sugar coat this Fitz. We got are asses hand to us in Iowa. The morale out there is dismal. You have to say something." Cyrus threw his copy of the returns on his desk.

"Get them together let's have a team meeting. We have to figure this out Cy. I refuse to lose to Sally Langston."

Well there is no way to sugar coat it. We got our asses kicked by Sally Langston in Iowa last night. Anyone have any ideas." The room was deadly silent. "Anyone."

"We need to swing farther right. We need to talk about the issues

"Our issues aren't the problem." Fitz turned to the staffer. We are not getting our message out the Problem is..."

"Your Marriage." Fitz turned around to see a vision in front of him "It looks like you don't screw your wife." _you're not afraid to say what needs to be said. Cyrus words played over and over in her head as she walked closer to the Governor. It is time to go in for the kill._ Olivia thought as she walked toward Governor Fitzgerald Grant. He looked shocked. That part of his reaction was good. It meant she was getting through. "Family values matter to Republican, that why they vote for who they vote and since Sally has Jesus on her side that only leaves marriage. Yours whatever the truth, looks cold. Where is your wife by the way? People like to like who they vote for. They voted for George W and Laura because they seemed like a nice couple to have a beer with. You need the American People to invite you in for dinner and right now you and your wife are standing in their doorways three feet apart letting in the cold air. It's why you lost Iowa and it's why you'll lose New Hampshire."

Fitz took a moment to take in what the woman in front of her said. He had never seen her before. She must have joined them here in New Hampshire. She certainly wasn't afraid to speak her mind. Whatever anyone in the room was thinking in her two minutes soliloquy she had described his marriage to the T. He couldn't let this one go. "And you are?"

Olivia looked at him squarely and said with confidence. "Olivia...Pope."

"Thank You Miss Pope, for you kind words...but we are trying to run a campaign here. Fitz turned around and continued to look at his staff and volunteers let's get working people. We lost one...we are not going to win them all. Let's get out there and win this one. Let's get out there and let people know where I stand on these issues. We need to get our message out.

Fitzgerald T. Grant's heart was beating fast. He walked into Cyrus' office and said two words. "Fire her."

"She's great, best student I ever had, a pistol; she's a political Nun."

Fitz's walked closer to the desk. "Fire her."

"Why, because she said the thing that everyone on this campaign was afraid to say?"

"Just fire her." Fitz turned around and came face to face with one Olivia Pope.

"I'll charge my hotel room to the campaign. Don't worry I haven't raided the mini bar yet. " Olivia turned her attention to Fitz. "Best of luck Governor." The sarcasm was dripping from her salutations

Cyrus watched her walk away and turned to Fitz. "Let's get something straight. The baby kissing, stump speeches and campaign events that's all you. The back alley, morally bankrupt sausage making that's me. We can't win this without her." Cyrus pointed to the empty doorway. "You go get her back or you can find yourself and new sausage maker."

Fitz ran down the hall toward Olivia Pope. "Miss Pope" he ran ahead of her a stopped. He was going to make her listen she had to stay and if he had to grovel he would. Miss Pope...wait. I want to apologize."

"For firing me?" Olivia looked into his eyes. "Why?"

"Why do I want to apologize?"

"Why, did you fire me? I had a job, a paying job from which I took a leave of absences to do a favor for my friend Cyrus, because I am good. I am brilliant. Fitz stood in front of her, mesmerized by her speech. she had done it again he was turned on if a married man could say that about another woman...of course they could; they just couldn't act on the feeling. This was bad very bad. "I would eat, sleep and live Fitzgerald Grant every minute of every day. You would be lucky to have me. Just because you don't like hearing the truth about yourself doesn't mean that..." He had to say something before her dreamy speech ended and she walked away from him for good.

"I loved hearing the truth about myself. I agree with every word, very astute and you're right I would be lucky to have you."

"Then why? The stood silent staring into each other's eyes. He was leaning closer and closer. Her smell was sweetly intoxicating, yet it wasn't right...he was married. If only in name, as Olivia had so rightly pointed out. He had to step away from her before he did something else he would regret as he stepped back he saw a light in her eyes. She knew... "Look..."

"This is why you fired me." Olivia had come here to get away from Edison to get away from her past. She wanted, no need to concentrate on something other than her feelings.. She could tell this man in front of her had something she could work with from a political stand point. He was very Presidential. She wasn't ready for anything other than work, but for some reason, in this moment, standing here, she couldn't breathe. she was consumed by him. She assumed when she took this job, that Cyrus would be the one to save her from this hell she was living in. Cyrus would be the one in which she would finally confide about Edison Davis, but now as she looked into the Gray-Blue eyes of Governor Fitzgerald T. Grant; she wasn't sure of anything.

"Can we just..."

"Go back in there and work. okay."

"Okay."

"Cyrus, we have to get them to talk. They have to work this...whatever this rift between them is. If they don't and by some miracle he makes it into the White House. Washington, we leave them broken and resentful. Cyrus watched as Olivia paced the room

"Are we talking about Fitz and Mellie, here or you and Edison. I'm sorry, I got a little lost."

Olivia sat down. I'm talking about the campaign, about the Governor and his wife, not about Edison and me."

"There is a reason they don't talk Liv. They yell, every conversation they have turns into an argument. I've known them for years Liv. Mellie is just as ambitious as Fitz, if not more so. Their relationship isn't about love anymore...it's about business...it's about Pennsylvania Avenue.

"Fitz has been living half a live for years Liv." He's a great politician he could sell anything to the American People and Mellie she's just as good at getting what she wants.

Olivia had noticed that Fitz looked like a broken man. She was broken too and whatever was starting to happen her in the deep, dark, depths of soul, she need to get over Edison and what he did to her, before she moved on and she need to make sure that she didn't act of her gut is this instance because for once she didn't trust herself to do the right thing. She needed this campaign to keep her alive. Olivia stared into space.

"Olivia? Liv? Earth to Liv."

"Huh, what...oh I'm sorry Cy. "

"Where were you?"

Cyrus sat down next to her and placed his hand over hers. "I think you and I need to find a bar on the next campaign stop. It's time we had that talk Liv."

"I'm not ready Cy. Really I'm not. I'm fine."

"You're not fine you were shaking and you started to cry. We were talking about Fitz and Mellie about the _talk/argument _they need to have before we can move them forward. The topic should not be a reason for you to start shedding tears, unless you feel we've already lost to Sally 'I found Jesus' Langston." If that's the case, I'll sit down and cry along with you."

Liv, laughed "We aren't that bad off. We haven't lost yet, I have no plans to lose. Have faith Cy. He hurt me. This campaign is my medicine. I need to heal. When I need you, I'll come to you.

The truth was Edison had left scars, both physical and emotional . Liv wasn't ready to re-live them. She wasn't sure if Cyrus, her mentor and friend was the right person to share her scars with. What other choice was there, Fitzgerald Grant? No she couldn't do that. Olivia's mind went back to early that morning when he _fired her_. Olivia remembered that her heart was racing as she looked deep into his eyes. He was damaged too; living half a life just like her, but it wouldn't be appropriate to share her burden with him. She knew she would have to find someone to share it with soon before it ate her alive.

**And I've learned to live half alive  
And now you want me one more time**

**And who do you think you are  
Running 'round leaving scars  
Collecting your jar of hearts  
And tearing love apart  
You're gonna catch a cold  
From the ice inside your soul  
So don't come back for me  
Who do you think you are?  
**


	4. Chapter 4

Title: _ Then and Now_

Author: GEM

Date: 11-12-12

Pairing: Olivia/Fitz

Rating: T

Summary: Olivia had made decisions in her life. Some she is proud of, others she is not. Fitzgerald Grant had made decisions in his life. Some he is proud of, others he is not. Every decision comes with consequences. Olivia/Other Olivia/Fitz

A/N: This is my first Scandal Fan Fiction. Your comments are greatly appreciated. Thank you to those of you who have reviewed. I enjoy reading the reviews, so keep them coming. Please don't be shy.

**Important: Delicate subject matters are eluded to in this chapter. This is not meant to offend anyone, just to move the story along.**

Disclaimer: Scandal is Property of Shonda Rimes and ABC et al. The song Jar of Hearts is Property of LAWRENCE, DREW C. / PERRI, CHRISTINA JUDITH / YERETSIAN, BARRETT NOUBAR. No copyright infringement is intended

The Candidate

It was cool crisp New Hampshire morning. Olivia and Cyrus had met that morning discussing the best way to make Fitzgerald Grant a better candidate. In order to win against Sally Langston he needed to be the best. In order to be the best candidate. Fitzgerald Grant needed to talk to his wife. They needed to become America's Couple or at least they needed to be perceived as America's Couple.

Olivia stood off to the side watching as the Governor talked with the Veterans, kissed babies, and posed for pictures with Sally. "He's good our boy, you wouldn't know that at this moment he would like nothing better than to rip Langston's throat out." Cyrus sipped his coffee.

Olivia sipped her coffee and watched as Fitz continued to talk to the Senator."He got something I can work with. If only he was this good at faking it with his wife then we wouldn't be losing.

Cyrus laughed. "We are going to make it Liv. I canceled the next two days of events like you asked.

"We will sit down with both of them when we get back this afternoon." Olivia said as she continued to watch Fitz. He was lifting babies off the ground. He looked happy the perfect father. Olivia allowed herself a minutes to image Fitz lifting their own child above his head. She had no idea why but she was allowing herself to fall for Fitzgerald Grant.

"Liv, did you hear me?" Cyrus' voice brought her away from her musings.

"What did you say? I'm sorry."

I said you get to tell Mellie about the Literacy event."

"Gee, thanks."

I don't understand what you want from us Miss. Pope."

Olivia stood next to Cyrus as the meeting with the Governor and Mellie in the hotel room after the successful morning events.

Olivia outlined exactly what they needed to do. "You need to be a believable, loving, dedicated couple or you might as well throw it in right now."

Olivia was honest and while Mellie looked disgusted with the statement. For the first time she saw a light in the Governor's eyes she hadn't seen before. Olivia stomach did a flip.

"What do you suggest we do, Miss Pope?"

"You need to talk to each other. Then we will talk about events. Cyrus and I will give you some time alone." Olivia turned Cyrus around and they walked into the next room.

The talk was a disaster. Accusation of their marriage being dead were throw and it ended in Mellie Grant fleeting for the hotel suite. Olivia knew she need to talk to the Governor.

"Governor Grant." Olivia approached the sofa slowly and sat down next to Fitz.

"I know that wasn't easy."

"None of this is Easy. We have been living like this for years Miss Pope. We both what the same thing. She may say she doesn't want it, but she is running for First Lady that much isn't a lie."

Olivia listened as his statement drifted off. She loved the softness of his voice and the kindness of his eyes. She was falling for him and she couldn't be she need to be the fixer, not some lovesick staffer. Olivia need to focus and focusing together with Governor Grant was becoming increasingly more challenging. They had talked about it but the tension between them was growing. "okay, so, you youngest has Parent/Teacher Conferences scheduled for Tuesday so you and Mellie are going to go be parents on Tuesday. It's a good thing. It makes you look like the loving parents we know you are. On Wednesday Morning we scheduled a jointed interview with you and Mellie on Good Morning, New Hampshire."

"Okay, What else? Fitzgerald Grant's heart was racing, this woman sitting next to him with a clipboard was amazing. She was a vision he couldn't get out of his head. He knew there was more to her than meets the eye. She seemed damaged in some way. He wanted to hold her and tell her it would be okay, but that would be stepping over a line. He was married, he was running for President and she was here to help him win that election. She was sitting next to him talking about events with his wife, yet she was the farthest person from his mind. The only thing that consumed his mind at this point in time was Olivia Pope.

"You can't wear this tie on Morning T.V."

"Why?"

"It's too distracting." Olivia looked around the room.

"You." She pointed to one of the staffers. "Give me your tie." The young staffer looked puzzled "Your tie, take it off."

Olivia pulled the tie away from the staffer and stepped closer to Fitz. She put the tie around his already flipped up collar.

Fitz stood and watched her as she tied the knot. Being this close to her was heaven and hell at the same time. They would have to address this soon, but not here or now. He need to say something before he did something that would be highly inappropriate. "So have you decided who you're voting for yet?"

"Not yet."

"You rip ties off innocent bystanders for me and I don't even have you vote yet?"

Olivia cracked a smile. "You have to earn it."

The interview went well. Mellie and Fitz were progressing but they still had a long way to go. The last campaign event before the polls opened. Ice Cream suddenly became Olivia favorite food. Ice Cream made Fitz and Mellie, a believable, loving and dedicated couple and sealed the deal in New Hampshire, win or lose.

Cyrus and Olivia sat down with the staff debate research. "They are going to attack him on right to choose. Sally's strictly pro-life. I could see her coming after us on his policies as Governor on this issue.

"We have an answer on the pro- life issue for sure. Did you look at the opposition research? She's not coming after him on that. Cyrus handed Olivia a folder.

She read through it and added it to a nearby pile. "Don't use that in his answer but, don't lose it either; the information may come in handy in the future."

"Immigration will be a big issue for Langston." Cyrus nodded his head.

"Cyrus looked at another question. "I agree with whatever staffer came up with this one. They will bring up his marriage, especially after the wheels came off in New Hampshire."

"That was mine. We just have to come up with a believable answer."

"How about you can't capture twenty years of marriage in a photograph or Chemistry in a photo-op."" Fitzgerald Grant said from the doorway.

Olivia smiled as she felt him walk toward her. "That's a start Governor. My suggestion would be start with that and then make them believe you are a man in love."

Fitz sat down at the desk next to Olivia and across from Cyrus. Fitz locked eyes with Olivia. "I don't see that to be a problem."

Olivia waited to walk into the green room until after Mellie left to take her seat. She wanted to give them a chance to talk and then be able to calm him before he had to face Senator Langston.

"Are you ready, Governor?" Olivia noticed for the first time since they started working together that her voice gave out a little.

"As I'll ever be." Fitz turned around to met her eyes. "Is my tie acceptable tonight."

Olivia stepped close and straightened the tie. "You look very Presidential." Olivia stepped back and smiled.

Cyrus walked into the room. "It's time."

Olivia smiled. "Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose."

Governor Grant smiled at both Cy and Olivia. "Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose." Fitz repeated as they walked out and toward the stage.

The debate was going well Fitz was make all the right points and jabs when necessary. They were nearing the end of the hour and the question that the team was waiting for had yet to come up. They knew that Kendall Allen wouldn't miss an opportunity to ask about Governor Grant's Marriage and they were right.

"The next question is for you Governor. A lot has been made of your marriage during the campaign. Why do you think the criticism remains?

"I think a lot gets lost in translation. You can't capture twenty years of marriage in a snapshot. You can't capture chemistry in a photo op. The most honest thing I can tell you right now, Kendal is that I'm a man in love...with an incredible woman." Fitz looked toward the crowd straight at Olivia.

Olivia locked eyes with Fitz. He wasn't talking about Mellie...Olivia stiffened when she realized- _oh my God_-he was talking about her. She felt the butterflies rise in her stomach. He was an incredible person. They met backstage after the debate was over. He smiled at her and she at him. They walked together toward the elevator; it was time to celebrate the clear winner of the is debate.

The elevator ride was the longest Olivia could remember. She wasn't ready for this. This was inappropriate but as the floors disappeared and as their destination got closer so did Fitz. He was so close she could feel his breath on his skin. All she wanted to do was reach out and take his hand but she couldn't. Olivia couldn't do anything. She stood frozen on the elevator as Fitz stood as close as he dared. He brought his lips toward her, but before either of the him could act, on the tension engulfing them the elevator doors opened. Olivia could hear the sounds on corks flying and cheer campaign staff as Fitz exited the Elevator, Liv remained behind.

When the elevator door closed she leaned up against the wall and closed her eyes. How had she let this happen. She wasn't ready for this Edison had done too much damage. She wasn't ready to be involved anyone, let alone a marriage, former Governor who was running for President. She may not be ready for anyone but she was falling for the Governor.

Fitz spent the night thinking about the one and only Olivia Pope. He walked in the war room the next morning and watched her work. She was amazing, She made him smile. He needed to nix this. He told her he didn't need anything when he walked into the room. He lied. He needed her. He pulled her away from a nearby staff and escorted her into the hall. He let go as she settled against the wall. He let out the breathe his was holding. "I married, I'm running for President, I can't do this."

Olivia immediately agreed. "I don't want you to."

Fitz took a step closer. " can we just stop being the candidate and the campaign fixer and just be us for one minute."

"One minute." Olivia agreed as the stood silently looking into each other's eyes. In his eyes she saw lust, love and admiration. She felt just like she had the night before as she felt him lean closer taking in all the love she had to offer. There minute ending when Mellie Grant appeared in the doorway. Olivia quickly disappear with Mellie leaving Fitz alone with his thoughts.

Woman, they were done in the polls with woman, until they reached a peach pie event in Georgia and Millie tearful told the press of her recent miscarriage. Olivia and Cyrus had shared quick, shocked looks as Mellie told the story. Honestly Olivia wasn't sure what to believe Fitz had appeared unfocused lately Olivia attributed that to the fact that he was preoccupied with a new love or lust in his life that just happened to be her. Perhaps it was Mellie he was concerned with or perhaps Mellie pulled one of the oldest political tricks in the book.

Olivia was playing subconscious ping pong with herself as she sipped her coffee on the late night bus ride to the latest campaign stop in Florida. Talk to him, don't talk to him. talk to him don't talk to him. Talk to him. Olivia got out of her sit and walked to the back of the bus to sit next to the Governor.

"I'm sorry for you loss. for you Is Mellie okay, because if she needs some time.

"Mellie's fine, nothing keeps that woman down. Not even a fake miscarriage." He looked at Olivia "She's a really catch me wife. I'm a lucky man."

"I'm sorry."

"Oh, Please don't be nice to me I'm sitting complaining about my wife. Which is the oldest trick in the book. What kind of coward I'm I to marry her and not wait for you. Fitz looked her in the eye and that when Olivia knew they were about to cross a line she knew that wouldn't come back from.

"Governor Grant..."

"Oh, for God's sake we are so far beyond the Governor Grant crap." Olivia smiled and let out a tiny laugh that made Fitz heart skip a beat. "Just say my name."

Olivia quickly tried to hide behind her professionalism. "That's crossing a line. It would be inappropriate.

Fitz leaned his head toward her and smiled. "Then let's be inappropriate." He smiled playful and she let out her tiny laugh again and smiled. "Say my name." Olivia was silent for a few moments. Fitz turned away and looked out the bus window.

Olivia sat silently, playing all the possibility in her head. She was falling for him. She wanted to leap over the inappropriate line. This man sitting next to her was everything Edison wasn't and hadn't been. She took a breath and his name fell off her lips like a whispered prayer. "Fitz." She smiled and let out her tiny laugh once again. Fitz turned to her and slipped his hand closer to her she let one hand leave her coffee cup and interlaced her fingers with his.

Olivia woke in the middle of the night. She was wrapped in a pair of strong arms and she was warm. She looked around and started to panic. Where was she? This wasn't her room. She tried to break free from the arms holding her close but she couldn't. She couldn't take this. It wasn't a dream. It really happened. They wanted it to happen and she wanted it to keep happening but it couldn't keep happening. He was married and she was scarred for life. Olivia tried to break free and she began to cry.

Fitz was in a fog, he could feel something moving in his arms and then he heard what sounded like crying. It all came flooding back to him, Liv, his sweet baby was in his arms crying. He turned her toward him so he could look in her eyes. He lifted her chin. "Sweet baby, look at me."

Olivia knew it was wrong but she buried her head deeper in his chest. "I can't ...can't."

Fitz sat them both up and looked in her eyes. "What can't you do, Livie?"

"Breathe, I can't breathe." Olivia sat in his embrace not caring that neither of him were wearing any clothing. Images of earlier in the evening and early morning flooded her mind. She didn't regret anything they did together. The only thing she did regret was not tell him the truth about her past. If she had done that some way somehow than he would know why she was acting the way she was right now.

Fitz rubbed her back. calm down...calm down...take slow deep breaths...slow deep breaths. Fitz looked was worried that she was regretting what had happened.

Olivia must have read the question in his eyes. "I don't regret anything about last night; accept maybe breaking the lamp." Fitz let out a laugh and kissed her on the lips. You put the light back in my eyes Fitzgerald Grant. You taught me how to trust and love again. I haven't done that for a long time. I should have told you before you told me to take off my clothes. I was feeling so loved in that moment I didn't want to ruin it."

"Tell me Liv. I know there is something wrong?"

I didn't get to choose when to come and go in my last relationship. I didn't get to choose when to make love and when not too and I didn't want to be stuck in that cycle again. "I had a bad dream. I woke up and thought you were him. I didn't know where I was at first. I woke up and was afraid you wouldn't let me go. As much as I know we are wrong. I know you would never hurt me. We were acting on our lust for one another last night, yet in doing that, I think I've fallen in love with you."

"Olivia I think I've fallen in love with you too. I know it's wrong. I'm married but I can't let go of this feeling I have for you. Livie, my sweet baby, I don't know what he did to you but I promise you I will never hurt you like he hurt. I will help you. He can't hurt you anymore. " Fitz loving kissed her and pulled her down in the bed. "You're safe now sweet baby, get some sleep."

**And it took so long just to feel alright  
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes  
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed  
Cause you broke all your promises  
And now you're back  
You don't get to get me back  
**


	5. Chapter 5

Title: _Then and Now_

Author: GEM

Date: 11-12-12

Pairing: Olivia/Fitz

Rating: T

Summary: Olivia had made decisions in her life. Some she is proud of, others she is not. Fitzgerald Grant had made decisions in his life. Some he is proud of, others he is not. Every decision comes with consequences. Olivia/Other Olivia/Fitz

A/N: This is my first Scandal Fan Fiction. Your comments are greatly appreciated. Thank you to those of you who have reviewed. The last chapter of this journey is upon us. I hope you all enjoyed this of what I hope is many more to come. I enjoy reading the reviews, so keep them coming. Please don't be shy.

Disclaimer: Scandal is Property of Shonda Rimes and ABC et al. The song Jar of Hearts is Property of LAWRENCE, DREW C. / PERRI, CHRISTINA JUDITH / YERETSIAN, BARRETT NOUBAR. No copyright infringement is intended

The President

The campaign was over. They were in the first hundred days. Olivia could already tell that the prospect of staying in the White House would be difficult. The literacy initiative had been launched, the Social Security reform and Jobs bill had hit both the floor of the House and Senate. Grant/Langston hit the ground running. Olivia had hit the ground running as well. She was doing the unthinkable.

"This is insane." Olivia lean back into the couch as he put his arms around her.

"The Kids and Mellie are still packing up in California. How is this insane?"

Olivia put down the briefing folder. We are sitting in your private office, less than ten feet from the Oval Office. You're the President and You're married." Olivia stood up and started to pace.

"Liv, stop" Fitz had seen this before. Over the last few months they had gotten closer. The fixer in Olivia had been careful, but they had fallen in love. Liv, was the love of his life and he hated to watch her freak out like this.

"We are being inappropriate Fitz." Fitz stood up and put an arm around her waist to make her stop pacing.

He pulled her to himself and took in her scent. "Then let's be inappropriate, my Sweet Baby." He kissed her deeply and picked her up. He carried her over to the couch and laid her down softly.

Liv sat in her office the next day looking over the latest speech and press agenda for the day. She couldn't get last night out of her mind. She was good at her job. She knew that she couldn't fight what was happen. She was in love. She didn't plan it to happen; it just happened. He was amazing. Every night they shared together. He was slow, caring and attentive. He listened to her. He only did what she was comfortable with. He was perfect and _married._ She had to put a stop to this but she wasn't sure she was strong enough to do it.

"Liv."

"Hey Cy, what can I do for you?"

Cyrus walked into the office and sat down. "I just came down to see how you are. I wanted to see if you had time to read the proposed speech the congressional breakfast next week.

"Yeah, I have it here somewhere. I'll look at it today."

"Great, any thoughts of HR975."

"Send your Deputy to work the Hill. She's some ideas that I think will work and make all interested parties very happy."

"She left an hour ago. I guess we are on the same page." Cyrus stood up and made to walk out. "The First Lady will be back at the end of the week so we have a few more days to work with Fitz, without the ice queen. At least he is in a good mood when she's not around."

Olivia did her best not to turn a brighter shade of red. "At least, although I always find him more charming when she isn't around."

Cyrus stood in the door way. "Let's hope she travels frequently. It'll be easier to run the Country. " Cyrus smiled. "Try not to stay too late tonight kid."

"We work in The White House, Cyrus. We are on 24/7 call for at least the next four years. I have a change of clothes and couch in my office for a reason so do you."

The view before them was breathtaking. She loved this spot. They called it _their spot_, in a far off corner of the White House Rose Garden. It had a perfect view of the Washington Monument as well as a distant view of the Lincoln Memorial. Tonight they were celebrating. Mellie had left a few hours ago for somewhere, for some, no doubt important reason. That Liv could care less about in this moment. They had gotten their first bill passed and they had spent the night at a public, office celebration. Now it was time to have a private celebration.

She laid back against the flannel blanket and watched as he poured the wine into the glass. He handed her one and kept the other. "To us."

Olivia's heart skipped a beat. "To us." She replied in a whisper. _Could you call this us. He was married. Where would this go?_

He pulled her back against his chest. "Sweet baby, what's wrong?"

Liv, took a sip of her wine "Nothing, Fitz. Absolutely nothing. She finished her wine and put the glass down before turning and kissing him deeply. Fitz pulled her down on the blanket and followed her lead.

Olivia walked through the White House gate the next morning feeling refreshed. She and Fitz spent the night celebrating a success first one hundred days but today was day one hundred and one. Today the gloves come off. Today was the day they got to show the world that Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III was destine to be great.

The Education Bill was first up. School choice and funding for Autism. They would not be demonized by the opposition. Olivia walked into her office with an extra spring in her step. Today was the day.

"We are five votes down." Olivia looked up and saw Cyrus in her doorway. Just like that the day goes to hell.

"You're kidding." Olivia stood up and looked at the white board in her office with the name of every legislator in Washington D.C. "How the hell did that happen? We were ten up when we left last night."

"The Vice President happened." Cyrus flopped on the couch in her office. "She came out on Fox and Friends this morning claiming the bill wasn't strong enough. One of her Senator _friends _added an amendment at the eleventh hour stripping out the Special Education provision. Of course it would have to be Sally Langston's only friend in the Democratic party just to make our day on the Hill and with the Press more interesting.

"Collier." Olivia looked at the board "If this thing passes, we'll have to Veto. He campaigned on funding for Autism Education. We finally had the guts to get the message out and give voters an alternative to the Democrats on this.

"Yeah, apparently Collier doesn't want to be re-elected. It's fine with me. We gain a seat that way." Cyrus looked at the board. We started making calls and working the whips we'll see were we end up."

"Damn it. I thought today was going to be a good day."

"You and me both and our problem comes from the inside." Cyrus leaned forward. "That woman needs a muzzle."

Olivia laughed. "It not funny...but it is."

Five months into the first year and Olivia was getting tired. It was getting more difficult for her to hide her feeling for Fitz, especially in front of Mellie. She wore her mask well but Liv always felt like Mellie Grant could see right through it. There was no future in this for her. She would have to make a move and fast.

Olivia walked around the corner to see one of Fitz Secret Service agents in front of her office door. "Miss Pope, he would like a moment. He's in his private office.

Olivia smiled "Thanks." She walked away with the agent following a discrete distance behind. She stood outside the office door for a moment before knocking softly. She heard a soft acknowledgement and walked through the door.

"Livie." Fitz looked up from his briefing memo and put down his glass of Scotch. He stood up and walked toward. I needed to see you and talk to you." He wrapped his arms around her and led her to the couch.

Something about him was different. something told her she wasn't going to like the way this was going to end. "I can't do this anymore, Liv. I can't it's too hard to do this without you."

"You're not doing this without me. I'll never leave your side." Liv leaned against his chest and began to play with the buttons on his shirt.

"You should be her Liv. You are the one I love."

"You have to be great Fitz and whether you love her or not she is part of what will make you great. I've been thinking a lot about the future. It's been almost six months. I think it's time for me to move on.

"No, Olivia please don't leave me."

"I have to. I'm holding you back, Fitz. I love you but this isn't about me anymore. It's not even about us. I don't see where this can led. We can't keep having rendezvous in the Rose Garden and in your office. This isn't us Fitz." He kissed her lovingly and pushed her into the couch. She knew this would hurt him but it had to be done. It was time to go out on her own and let Fitzgerald Grant be great.

Tomorrow she resolved tomorrow. As he started to remove her clothes and kiss his way down her body. Tonight she would be his and it would be good-bye.

Olivia Pope and Associates was becoming very successful. Olivia enjoyed her job as a fixer; she always had. Above all she really enjoyed working for herself. The elation of working for yourself could only last so long.

Amanda Tanner changed her life. Olivia was suddenly thrust back into a world she thought she left for good, no matter what her heart thought about that. Amanda Tanner put her back in the Oval Office in the arms of the President of the United States. Amanda Tanner allowed Mellie Grant to work her magic and invite her to a state dinner where she danced with the President of the United States. He told her that night he couldn't live without her in his life for another minute and truth be told neither could she.

Cyrus tore them back apart that night and it took Fitz weeks to talk to her again but when her phone rang. It was to tell him that Cyrus wouldn't be a problem any longer. She lived for the late night conversations as much as he did. The sound of his voice helped her sleep better at night. They were building a friendship but they both knew they were more than friends.

Amanda Tanner also brought about one of their best nights and one of their worst fights. Fitzgerald Grant III was nothing if not a gentleman. He stood in her living room holding the self described sex tape and was begging her to listen to it.

"I am not listening to you and Amanda Tanner having Sex." She didn't want to think of anyone else have sex with him, except her.

"Liv." I need you to listen to this. " Olivia took the disc from him. It was something in his eyes that told her this wasn't what she thought and she was right. As she listened she relived that night. They, whoever they were didn't get any of their conversation afterward but then that didn't really matter. They got the juicy parts, the parts that would bring down Presidencies.

"Cyrus got this. Someone has had this for two years. Why now?"

Fitz was surprised that he had to help her out with this one clearly she wasn't thinking straight. "They need a girl, they needed Amanda Tanner. Fitz pulled her into his arms and they walked to together and sat on the couch for a while. Olivia was literally sick as she watched Fitz stare out the window. There was a way to fix this but she would have to give him up to save him from himself.

He asked her for one minute and she gave it to him. She cherished it because she knew it could possibly be the last one minute they would ever share.

"Who are you right now?" He asked angrily as he pulled her by the arm into his chest.

"The woman who got you elected. Now go be the man I voted for."

America's Baby was on the way and each time she played the new cast a piece of her died inside.

Fitz saved her from Edison. Fitz made her nightmares go away but he didn't keep his promise either. She wanted more than stole glances, and late night phone conversations. she wanted much more but it wasn't his to give or hers to take. He needed to let her go. She knew that was the rational solution, but it wasn't reasonable to her. She had asked him once to let her go. He told her he would do anything for her but that. He couldn't live without her in his life and she couldn't live without him in hers.

Verna was right she was poking a bear. She and Fitz did breathe in Sync but it wasn't enough. Neither she or Fitz were a position to give each other what they needed. She was poking a bear to get what was best for her client. She didn't fathom the possibility of being collateral damage.

Cyrus called and told her to meet him. She wanted to apologize for the way things went at the White House so she didn't think twice about accepting. She wasn't expecting to see the Secret Service walk in. Her breath left her when she saw Fitz come and sit down next to her. They had a business conversation for less than a minute before Fitz asked her to join him on Air Force One. Oh how she would love to but to what end. They were in a viscous cycle and she knew it needed to stop.

"Yeah, I didn't think so." He looked her in the eye before continuing. "You must really hate me. For falling in love with you." He pained expression did not go unnoticed by Olivia. She was wearing the same pained expression.

"I tried...I made the call."

Olivia cut him off. She lost he tried but she lost. "Can I walk out of here or will I be stopped by Tom and Hal?"

"Liv."

"Where can this go really? Other than us joining the mile high club on Air Force One, where can this go?' Liv was trying to control her anger and her tears. She wouldn't lose it in front of him. She looked away and then heard the words that ripped her heart into a million little pieces.

"Fine, We're done."

Liv couldn't believe what he had said. This can't be happening. She had been asking him but she never thought he would actually do it. "What?" She whispered in disbelief

Fitz looked up at her. It was clear he was trying hard to keep his own emotions in check. "I'm letting you go. That's what you want right. You go your way I'll go mine. I'm married. I have children. I can't do this. It's not fair to you, to me, Mellie, the Country. I have to be responsible. Right?"

Olivia looked at him with a horse voice did the only thing she could do. She agreed with him. "Right."

"Okay."

"Okay." Fitz stood up and walked out.

She couldn't watch him go. The only thing she was concentrating on was not crying, not in front of him, not anywhere he could hear her. When she say the last agent leave she cover her mouth and let the tears flow free.

The fixer need a fixer. Edison had come calling again. He was trying to be a friend. He wanted to be more. Olivia just wasn't ready. She wasn't sure she would ever be ready. Verna was right. She never really thought about what would happen if he let her go. Now she was living in hell. She threw herself into her work but even that wasn't enough. She was empty and living half a life. When Cyrus called she gave him sound advice about James. She had no desire to see James hurt or worse killed at the hands of Hollis Doyle. Cyrus and Liv knew what was at stake.

When she answered the door that night she wasn't surprise to see Cyrus. "I mad at my husband and I need a drink and dinner."

Dinner is popcorn, but lucky for you I just opened a bottle of wine that will bring tears to her eyes. Olivia let him and shut the door. Cyrus sat down and started talking about Hollis.

"Let's not talk about that." Olivia hand him a wine class. "Drink up."

Cyrus pour a health portion into his glass. "Why'd you break out the good stuff.

"Governor Reston."

"We owe him One."

"We owe him more than one. Not to mention that would have been one hell of a head line to steer away from the G8. All roads lead to Fitz."

Olivia put down her glass. "All roads lead to Fitz." Olivia sat back "So why are you mad at your husband?"

"James is working back at the White House Press Corp. to punish me."

"So separate you work life and your personal life." Olivia said with a smile.

Cyrus looked at her for a moment. "Really, how is that working for you?"

"Fine." She smiled again

Cyrus knew she was hiding her true feeling. He wasn't lying to her when they talked early...not really on the outside to someone who didn't know him well Fitz was fine. Someone who knew him well, someone like Cyrus could tell he was dying slowly inside." I hear you're keeping company with Edison Davis again."

Liv held her class and glanced back to Cyrus He wants to. I'm thinking about it." Liv drank for here wine glass again.

"Why? After all he's put you through. You and I know he will hurt you again. Edison Davis is not who you need or want in your life." Cyrus said and then it hit him. "All roads lead to Fitz." He could see the look in Olivia's eyes. She was lost without him just as much as he was lost without her.

Liv's heart started to beat faster and she smiled. "All roads lead to Fitz. Liv whispered as she leaned back into the couch.

She was still in love and couldn't let him go. Edison was her past she wasn't ready to go back she didn't want to go back to him. She wanted Fitz but she knew she couldn't have him. As much as he said he wouldn't break is promises. He was the President and he was married. He couldn't help but break his promises to her.

**And who do you think you are  
Running 'round leaving scars  
Collecting your jar of hearts  
And tearing love apart  
You're gonna catch a cold  
From the ice inside your soul  
So don't come back for me  
Don't come back at all**

**And who do you think you are**  
**Running 'round leaving scars**  
**Collecting your jar of hearts**  
**And tearing love apart**  
**You're gonna catch a cold**  
**From the ice inside your soul**  
**Don't come back for me**  
**Don't come back at all**  
**Who do you think you are?**  
**Who do you think you are?**  
**Who do you think you are?**


End file.
